Sunshine

today i realized that for the past month (save the several hours spent with my father), I've been (and thought of myself) as Jonathan. Now if only my non-college life could catch up. I hated being a closet homosexual, and i hate being a closet transman even more.

to be honest i hate lying to my parents about important stuff like this.

i just want to scream, yes! yes i'm content having intimate relationships with women. i'm just not content BEING a woman.

My name is Jonathan, and i am your SON.

But every time i go to open my mouth about it, nothing comes out.

on a different note, today i'm out and about in a sports bra (rather than my binder), and for the first time in 3 months i'm not packing. Talk about emptiness. i dont feel like me. I mean, no shit... Jon doesn't go out with tits and without his dick.

ahhhh this was supposed to be a happy blog. dammit be happy Jon!