effff

Its weird, because I was so happy, so excited yesterday and now I'm not.

Today, I was supposed to wander around downtown and look for a therapist. I was so excited, because this afternoon is essentially an "afternoon off".

But yesterday Auntie Flo came knocking and I'm too meh to leave the house. I can't leave the house to look for someone to diagnose me with GID when I feel too depressed, too icky, too feminine to get out of bed. Dear body, thanks for reminding me that I'm a biological female when I need it the least.

I'm just in a state of sulk, because my moobs hurt, my ovaries hurt and I feel bloated and tired. and if I tried to talk to any psychiatrists, I'd probably burst into tears.

I hate feeling female. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

Days like this make me wish I had a girlfriend to tell me that it was going to be ok, and I'm still an attractive man no matter what. I need reassurance and comfort. :/

but instead I have to rely on myself because I can't continually burden my friends with this. It just wouldn't be right.