I hate having to lie. Yet I do it nearly every day. Whether its to the stranger or family member asking about the man in my life, or the close friend asking what's wrong. Its in my nature to be a closed book. Letting someone in... divulging my secrets... that's a scary thought.
I don't know who I'm kidding. No one close to me truly cares. I could be freer with how I feel.
All this just seems kind of pointless now.
But is it wrong to fear that I'll never get another woman if I transition? Is it wrong to put it all off because I want to hold onto the happiness that I have now? I'm so confused, and I'm trying to weigh everything the best I can.
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