Names

One of the reasons I never want to be a parent is having to come up with baby names. Don't get me wrong, I was like almost every other little girl in the fact that I obsessed over what I was going to name my children. They were cute, adorable little names like Dante and Andrea.

But now I'm stuck with the task of naming myself, and I'm in a funk. I don't know where to start. Do I go for the uber-masculine or the suave? Do I go for the standard Charles, or the obscure Nikolai? Do I keep my middle name, or go for a new one? How do I feel about becoming an Ethan, an Aiden, a Theo or a Demitri?

One thing I do know is that when I go for the change, I'm getting rid of my female name. To create some distinction. Distinction between the girl I was born as, and the man that I hope to become.

I'm sure whatever decision I make will be a good one. I do know that I tend to take things like this slow, and think about them obsessively. I've had a Word document on my desktop for about 6 months where I've been adding, starring and crossing off various names. I feel that I'm hardly any closer than I was when I began sometimes, but I know that every day, I get a little closer, and when I finally find the right name, I'll know.

I'm not scared anymore though. This is something I'm certain of. I'm emerging from my shell, and I'm going to talk about it. Now if only I can finish that email...