Disillusioned

Autumn tides have given cause for thought.  I feel that time has passed by so rapidly.  It seems that only yesterday, I began my journey of enlightenment.  Instead it has been shy of three months since I set foot on campus, burdened by artifacts from the outside world.

What a child I was then, full of disillusioned thoughts and false hopes.  How different today is.

and yet, today is not so different.  It still seems that disillusionment lurks in the corners of the mind.  Threatening to nibble on the tattered edges of our worn souls.  Whispering false secrets in our thoughts.

Now is the time to break free.  The time to find truth in all that we live and believe in.

It is our time to live.  Our time to thrive.

So lets do it.

Physical Constraints

Oddball-ish title, yes.

But there is a point, I promise.  But it is not relevant to the title.

Someone made this, and I thought it was phenomenal.  

So please read it.  and think hard.

Hello (your name here)

i am human.

I am no different than everybody.

i have feelings and emotions.

i feel, touch, see, hear, smell.

there is nothing wrong with me.

I am gay.

please understand.

thank you.

Tonight, Tonight

....is actually pretty good.

Its been a thrilling weekend.  I didn't learn anything productive, but it was just so overwhelmingly busy.

Firstly, Saturday was devoted to marching band, 7am until 2am the next morning.  It was absolutely mad.  Needless to say, things were very tiring, and I slept well the next night.  Until 11am in fact.  It was so relieving.  

I then proceeded to spend the ENTIRE day finishing homework.  Except for the part where I went to the gym to play racquetball and go rock climbing.  And the part where I left my dorm at 7 to go eat, and ended up chilling in someone's dorm, playing pool and swapping music.  It is now 11.30.  I still have not gone home.   I should finish my lab report, but I will probably go to sleep when I get home, putting off the paper until tomorrow.  It's due at 7pm tomorrow.  But I have faith that I will finish it.  And turn it in tomorrow morning when I'm up at ISAT for CHEM 131/132 at 8am.

Seriously though.  Enough being down with my life.  Things are goin' great, and they're only gettin' better.  :)

There Is No Day (cont)

No day better to make a change

To shed an identity

To take up the mantel of a new person.

To colour over the old lies

To be my own person.

You think you know me, but you know nothing of what I have become

You may have known me, but I am a stranger to you now.

For I have seen the future and I know what lies ahead

I am... a living reminder of folly.

I'm not really sure how this came up.  It just did.  I suppose it has something to do with typical teenage angst.  That was certainly experienced last night.  I very strongly dislike having to tell people that something is wrong in my life.  It takes away from my ability to care for myself.  I hate letting people take care of me; hate being weak.

Its a problem, but I feel like it takes away from my inner strength.  

But when life's problems come crashing down around you... there's not much you can do, but sit and cry.

I had a heart-to-heart with a couple people last night.  They tried to make me feel better, tried to fix my problems.  But I do not want to be fixed.

I dislike how people think that I will come home from college the same person who left.  I cannot ever be that person again, no matter how much I may or may not want to.  I've left that person behind in the dust.  

The end.

Theres No Day

Sometimes...you just don't know what to write.

Coming back to this later...