I'm getting bad about remembering to blog again. But this time its because I got a Tumblr, and I'm doing a lot from there.

jdclouston.tumblr.com

But I feel like I'll still post from here a fair bit. This medium gives me a fair amount of space to type long emotional entries.

Today is my 8th therapy session I think, and my Dad is coming with me. I'm not really sure what to expect, but I feel like its going to help him to hear about all of this from a source that isn't me. I know he wants to be able to support me, but he just doesn't know how.

The further I get in my transition, the more attracted I get to men. Its weird to type this, and weirder to say it out loud, because for 20 years I've been solely attracted to women. I've always admired men for their bodies, but I'd sooner jump a barbed wire fence then get in bed with them.

But the more I accept myself as a man, the more I think I might actually be bisexual. or possibly pansexual.

At this point, I don't think I could see myself in a sexual relationship with a man. But I think... that I might possibly be ok with having a boy friend. and someday, I think I could be ok with having sex with a man.

Of course, this is all depending on when I stop seeing my attraction to men as heterosexual, and start seeing my attraction to men as homosexual.

damn, being an FTM is weird sometimes.