Growing Stronger

Right now, I'm chilling in the Airport Lounge (in the practically EMPTY airport lounge, which is practically unheard of) trying to catch up on my calculus. Jamming to Taylor Swift. No lie. I'm definitely on a Taylor kick. :D It makes me happy.

I'm on a quest to heal myself. Gotta pull the arrows out of my chest you know? Metaphorical arrows of course.

I've made some pretty serious vows, and I plan to stand by them.

and you know what? I'm over this. I'm over pretending that I'm just going to sit passively and let this stuff wash over me, wear me down. I'm going to live, and there is nothing you can do about it. I'm going to be strong. I'm going to break down these walls, and walk away from all of this. Because some things that used to matter to me, just don't anymore. But the things that do matter... I'm not going to be silent about them anymore. I can't just stand by.

Because I'm going to be a stronger person. in all aspects.

Out.

A month or so ago, I posted about something that is not only very important to me, but also very relevant to where I am in my life. I talked about how I'm not the person that I wake up as. I was intentionally vague, because it was (and still is) something that greatly scares me and makes me very insecure.

And yet I'm making great progress, great strides towards making that change. Every day, I take one step closer to waking up and being the person I truly am.

I'm trusting my friends to stay with me, because in this time I need all the true friends I can get. It was hard enough to come out once, and I'm thrust into the nightmare of trying to come out again.

Paths?

Sometimes it takes a little change to open things up. Something that pulls you clear of the monotony. A new house, a new friend, a new haircut. A new hair color. Something that tells you "I can do this. I made this change, I can make another. I made this sacrifice, what's one more going to hurt?"

My eyes are open and clear now. There shall be no more obstruction.

Heck, I'm stepping forth into the world as a blonde this week. Maybe I can admit to more things in due time. I've taken the first step, and I don't think I'm going to stumble this time.